I often tell my clients to ‘stay in your hula-hoop.” Perhaps another way to say it is to stay in your lane.
What I mean is that staying in your hula-hoop is about boundaries than hula-hoops, but it’s a metaphor that resonates well with most people.
Imagine you have a giant hula-hoop resting on your hips. You spin the hoop, swinging it
around and around, trying your best to keep it from falling to the ground.
Now imagine that everyone you encounter has a hula-hoop around them, too. Each person is trying their hardest to keep the hoop in continuous rotation. No matter how hard we try, the hoop sometimes gets away
from us and falls to the ground.
We want to ‘help’ without asking the other person what is their version of ‘helpful.’ This is when we accidentally jump into their hula-hoops and it’s usually not good for either party.
What if I jumped into your hula and tried to help you get it back up off the ground? It’s difficult enough to hula my hoop, but it’s impossible to hula two hoops! The result: now I’ve messed up my efforts and yours.
So, how are you doing staying in your hula-hoop?
My sister has been in the hospital with health complications. Being at the hospital reminded me that there is no better place to stay in your hula-hoop. I found that I wanted to jump in and take responsibility for
her care by helping the generous aides, nurses, and doctors.
Instead, I stayed in my hoop. By staying out of the way, meaning out of their hula-hoops, I didn’t get tangled in all the tubes and added complications that getting out my own hoop could have caused.
My hula-hoop lessons while being with my sister.
Just BE with her. Remind her that thoughts come and go like the waves in an ocean. I tell her, “Don’t believe your thoughts…believe your values…then create value.”
As my father has always said to me: “Lisa, let the pilot fly the airplane.” It has never been more clear to me what he meant. It is his version of the hula-hoop.
The good news, when you stay in your hula-hoop, your bucket of energy will feel full, and then if someone asks for help hooping, you’ll have more to give.
Sometimes we need to step back and remember how we can be helpful and let our light shine so we can shine it on others. Here are a few quick tips.
The bottom line is this: find a way to enjoy taking care of you first and
foremost. Get curious about what others need and then hula your hoop. It’s
truly best for everyone all the way around.