All month I’ve been talking about romance more specifically the love affair that you have with yourself. ie. self-love and how the relationship you have with yourself can lead to happiness. Did you know that the things you say can enhance that relationship or detract from it? Let’s talk about 3 phrases to remove from your vocabulary to ensure happiness happens.
When we are young, we are full of self-assuredness and self-love. We feel like we can do anything and that we are invincible. Think about how daring you were as a child. Did you climb trees, jump off swing sets.
Somewhere along the line however we begin to get scared. We stop jumping and climbing. We stop believing. Self-doubt and limiting beliefs creep in and we begin to look outside of ourselves for acceptance, fulfillment. Which without a doubt leads us on a cycle of disappointment and unhappiness?
That unhappiness then creeps into our vocabulary. The things we say to ourselves and out loud ultimately affect our thoughts and behavior which bring us either happiness and joy or sadness and discontent.
Let’s not waste any more time in discontent, shall we? Let’s discuss the 3 phrases that you need to take out of your vocabulary Asap
Somebody Ought To (ought-ta)
Somebody out to do something, fix something, stand up for something. If it’s so important for that someone ought to do something why is that someone NOT YOU? If it’s important to you than you should take a stand. Say something, so something instead of waiting for someone else to come along and do it. Because that person never arrives.
- Take a stand
- You’ll feel empowered
- More confident
We all know the saying when you assume you make an ass out of you and me. Actually, it’s wrong you usually end up making a fool out of yourself.
If you want something from someone or expect something you must make that expectation clear. How can the other person/group of people know what you want from them if you don’t tell them? They can’t read your mind. I’ve lost count of the number of times someone has said I just assumed you know or. I just assumed that he understood that or that I needed XYZ.
Assuming something will always lead to disappointment which never makes us happy. Instead by clearly telling the person exactly what you expect they can ask questions and open a dialogue.
For example, Your lawn needs cutting. You assume your husband will do it this week. But he doesn’t and you’re angry. If you had opened a dialogue you would have found out that he didn’t forget but was swamped at work and under a huge deadline. Yes, the grass still needs to be cut but now you know that it wasn’t forgotten and that it will get done. Just not right now, on your timeline.
Remember, it’s not all about you. Instead of assuming anything talk about your expectation. You will be less frustrated and a lot happier with the result and how you feel.
“Whether you think you can, or you think you can’t – you’re right,”- Henry Ford
This one needs to go right now! If you think you can’t your right and you won’t. This quote by Henry Ford emphasizes how much attitude determines success or failure. In our case happiness or unhappiness.
Whatever it is you simply won’t do it. I’m not talking about physical things like I can’t lift a 500 lb rock over my head. More specifically I am talking about things like going to the gym, exercising. “I can’t go to the gym, there isn’t enough time.” “But, I can’t write that article.” “No, I can’t spend more time focusing on my business.”
And you are 100% correct.
If you say that you can’t do something you’ve already made up your mind that it’s not important. If it were important to you would find a way to do it!
In a recent conversation with a client, they told me that they “just can’t” get up early in the morning to exercise for 30 minutes. 30 minutes! She tends to stay in bed to the very last moment then rushes out the door as not to be late for work.
In the midst of her rushing around, she forgets the lunch he made for herself, which will help her with her eating habits and also save her money because now she has to buy lunch.
However, last weekend on social media, she bragged about getting up at 4 am to go on a girl’s trip with her friends. “That’s the earliest I’ve ever t gotten out of bed-ever!” (Her words, not mine) She was up and Adam, raring and ready to go. Why? Because she wanted to.
If you truly want to do something you will make it a priority.
By removing I can’t from your vocabulary you’ll find 2 things
- You need to find new phrases. Try these out. I am unable. At the moment I don’t have the ability. I’m not willing. (that’s at least honest)
- You will stop making excuses for not doing things and get them done
This is the only life you can live. Fill it with the things you CAN do! In time you will feel empowered, successful, self-reliant, and along the way, you notice that these positive feelings will that happiness happen!